And We're Off...

Today AF decided to rear her little head, so things are officially starting. Not that any b/w or meds start yet, but nothing could progress until AF arrived...so now we're off and running. Luckily for me, I get to curl up on the couch with the heating pad, pamprin and juice (would be wine, but I don't need help being tired right now). And now matter how much pamprin I've taken, I've been in pain since about 9:30 this morning...at least it's taking some of the edge off. For now. I know the pain and the bleeding will get worse, and that's okay. If this is what I have to do for a child, then it's a small, miniscule price to pay, and I would pay it again and again.


For now, we wait. The only thing that changes now, immediately, is to start taking plain Robitussin every day (per dr's orders). Later this week I go for my first round of b/w, and in a few days, will start our first round of Clomid.


I thought, in the midst of getting ready to start this next step in our journey, I would feel hopeful, or nervous, excited, etc. Right now, I feel...almost nothing. I know that just b/c I ovulate due to the meds, it doesn't necessarily mean that we'll be successful in achieving our goal, or that it won't end prematurely. I know it probably doesn't help to think this way too much, but it's for my mental preservation. It is much easier to prepare myself mentally for the worst, and have things work out for the best, than to have such high hopes be  ripped away. Maybe those thoughts will change once this cycle progresses, but for now, that's where we are. 

And The Fun Begins

Well, I think it's safe to say that things will soon be getting under way. Today is my last day of the Aygestin, which means AF should be here soon...which means I am PMS-bitch today. Well, more like bi-polar PMS-bitch. Raging lunatic one minute, and crying at the drop of a hat the next. Joy, joy! I've been cramping for a few days, and my skin is going nuts, along with all the other fun things that are associated with getting your period: sore, tender boobs, bloating, back-ache, headaces, and for me, dizziness (this fun little guy joined the party sometime last year or so). Yay for Pamprin. And wine. And chocolate. And my fave Mexican food. And for a super hubby who tries his best to say or do the right thing to calm me down or stop me from crying.


I remember being a kid, and hearing about periods and PMS and the change...in school, we had sex ed, and the teachers separated boys from girls, and all us girls got to hear about periods, and how the cycles work, etc. They and our parents all made it out to be this wonderful thing and how you become a woman, blah blah blah. I know I have to go through all this wonderful woman crap to get pregnant, but this is not a wonderful thing. Severe, debilitating cramps are not a super fun experience. Feeling like you could body slam someone for saying something about your hair is not a fun experience either. Whoever decided to say or said this is all a wonderful great thing, yada yada yada needs to be re-educated. Seriously.


Okay, enough of my neurotic ramblings. Just proof it's time for bed.

An Infertility Blog Hop

In a feeble attempt to participate in what sounds like an awesome idea from 'Busted Plumbing', here is some info on how to join in on the fun.

Finally Moving Forward

I went to the ob/gyn today to discuss our options and see how to proceed forward, since it has now been one year since we first started TTC - and let me first say I heart my doctor. I met with the mid-wife previously, so today was my first meeting with the actual doctor and she rocks my socks off. 

So, we decided since I did not respond properly to provera (it didn't jump-start me like it was supposed to - back in '06 before I had even started dating DH), I will start Aygestin (similar to Provera) to induce a period. So I take that 2x/day for 10-days. Unfortunately, I'm going to have a God-awful period on this - super heavy, clotty, and painful - which I have been through before when I took Provera. On Provera, I was seriously ready to have the doctor rip everything out b/c I was done.

Once I get my period, I was start...Clomid. I had mixed feelings about it, but I feel better knowing that I will be monitored throughout the cycle, and the doctor will not refill the prescription without seeing me in her office first. She also will only let her patients be on it for three cycles. I feel a lot better about it knowing that I will be checked during the cycle, instead of just continuing taking something without knowing (other than charting) whether or not it is actually working.

So...I take the Clomid at 50mg for days 5-9; I have to have blood work done at some point between CD 3-5, and then again at some point between CD 21-23. I go back in 6 weeks for a mini/quick pelvic to make sure the ovaries are not over-stimulated. Of course, we were instructed to have sex every other day starting on a specific CD, so that will be interesting if the husband is working at night or out of town - guess I'll be doing a little driving, if need be!

And that's that. Billy may or may not have an SA done - she said there's nothing at this point to concern her of an issue on his end, but she also wouldn't mind knowing for sure, so she kind of left it up to us b/c most insurance companies don't cover it, and if ours doesn't, it'll be $100-150 for it. We haven't decided if this is something we want to do yet or not b/c it goes against our religious beliefs as Catholics, so that is going to require some additional discussion to see if maybe there are any other methods we can use for that.

In the meantime, I've apologized in advance for any crazy Clomid-induced behavior to my boss, mom, and of course the husband. I think knowing that the possibility exists for crazy moodiness to occur makes you better prepared, but I might also be naive. I just like to try and think positively :-).

One More Week

Well, one week from tomorrow is our appointment with the doctor. I'm trying to prepare by researching Clomid and other treatments so we can have a real conversation and make an informed decision on how we are going to move forward from here.


In other news, it appears I did not ovulate as we had originally thought (and hoped). I'm bummed, but not surprised. I knew it was too good to be true, but I really wanted to believe it. Just once, I wanted to believe my plumbing would actually do something right, all on its very own. I have more to say, but I'm not really sure how to say it.

Appointment - Check!

Eek! I did it - I called my doctor's office, and scheduled an appointment to get things moving if this cycle doesn't work. We are currently scheduled for Tuesday, March 30th at 3:45pm. I will definitely be sure to post some updates after said appointment.


So now we are crossing our fingers for this cycle, but ready to move forward if we aren't so lucky this time around. Today I'm 7dpo, and plan on testing on Friday at 10dpo, and again on Sunday at 12dpo, if AF hasn't arrived by then.

Decision Made

Well, after much discussion, Billy and I have decided to go ahead and stick to the original plan of going back to the doctor for clomid/infertility. We had originally put the decision on hold due to financial concerns, but since things are looking much better in that regard, we decided to jump feet first into our next adventure.


I'll be calling and scheduling an appointment tomorrow, for hopefully either later this month or sometime in April. If we did get lucky this cycle, then I'll call and cancel or reschedule. At least this way we have the appointment in place should we need it. We're not completely giving up on this cycle; we just want a back-up plan if things don't work out the way we want them to.


I'm a little bit nervous...I'm afraid they won't start me on anything at all due to being overweight, and b/c of the Factor V Leiden issues (woot high-risk pregnancy and blood thinners - NOT!!!). I think I'm a little nervous too b/c I was getting really good at convincing myself that I'm okay not having children or that it wouldn't happen, so now it's like getting this new bubble of hope - and being unsure if it'll burst or not.